What to Pack when you are Visiting Your Chinese Woman

 

 Whether or not you’ve done a lot of traveling, if it’s your first time visiting China, there are a few additions and subtractions you will have to make to your “list of essentials” when packing for your trip. Unless you will be spending all your time in Beijing, Shanghai, or any other westernized Chinese city, you will have to channel your inner boy scout and come prepared.

 

 Clothing Essentials

If your clothes and shoes come in large or extra-large American or European sizes, or maybe even bigger, you should definitely bring as much of these as you can; these would include underwear and socks, of course.

If you can afford high-end products, then you would have no problem locating stores that sell these. Given that China has a relatively small middle-class population, however, merchandise that caters to this demographic is also small. Most likely, you would belong in this class, as most laowais in China do; so unless you want to wear poor quality garments and footwear that fall apart as soon as you hand over your payment, don’t pack lightly. Bring with you all the comfortable and decent-quality clothes that you can fit in your luggage.

Find out what the local climate is where you’re going; you may need to purchase seasonal clothing before you leave.

Personal Hygiene Products and Medicines.

The brands you usually use may not be readily available in China; you can order online through Amazon.com or Ebay.com, but China’s postal system is not very reliable and you may end up experimenting with Chinese brands with funny or disturbing labels in English. You can also check Amazon.cn to see if they carry your brands, but you will have to pay using Chinese currency. Harder to find items include some brands of antiperspirant, cologne/perfume (especially if you have a favorite label/scent), mouthwash (often only available in big supermarkets), and dental floss.

Since medicines don’t take up too much space anyway, you might as well bring with you some generic brands for common ailments; but, generally, OTC pharmaceuticals are not hard to get in China.

Cooking Supplies

If you like to cook, and especially if you are staying for an extended period in China and want to be able to prepare your favorite dishes, you may also want to bring some essential herbs and spices, such as oregano, thyme, and basil. It may take some time, but with some luck and a lot of footwork, you may eventually find a supplier who’s local. It might be a good idea, too, to bring seeds/roots of herbs and spices that you can grow yourself.

Reading Materials

Books are bulky, yes, but stores that carry even the most widely printed English titles, as well as bestsellers, are far and few in between, unless you’re traveling to any of the big cities; those that carry genres and authors that are only popular in the west are even rarer. Again, ordering online is not highly recommended; but you can check Amazon.cn ahead of time to see if they have the titles you want.

Photographs

You should bring prints or photos in digital format saved in a flash drive, your laptop, or your phone, especially if you’ve going to China to visit your girlfriend/future wife and her family, and even more so if you would be living for a few years in China. Your special Chinese lady and her family will definitely appreciate your sharing of these cherished pictures with them. If you know other laowais that live in the area that you’re traveling to, ask them about the availability of these essential items, and the brands you use in particular. If you’re a member of a reputable Chinese dating site, build connections with other foreigners who are already in China who can give you tips and, perhaps, even play host and/or guide; or search the internet for online laowai communities.

Discover tons of great information about Chinese dating, Chinese women, and China travel at my blogs, www.naivechinesewomen.blogspot.ca

How to Get Ahead in China and Impress Your Special Chinese Woman

   Growing up, you were taught to be polite and to always wait your turn. But when you find yourself in China and doing everything you can to win points with your special Chinese lady, being a nice guy will get you nowhere fast... at least, when you’re only doing what your mother taught you and what any other well-mannered and sensible person would do and queueing when you’re supposed to.

Wake up and smell the lotus flowers, laowai! You’re in China now, and the Chinese don’t like following straight lines! If you ever want to get to the front of that line, purchase that bus ticket, and arrive at your destination in time to meet your Chinese girlfriend, you better start learning to stick out those elbows and do what every other Chinese around you is doing – and that is cutting in front of other people and not letting anybody cut in front of you!

It’s a skill the Chinese spend their life honing; this means you have to be more aggressive because you are up against hordes who have more experience nudging and elbowing their way to the front of the tangled mass of commuters. Where you would even get the idea that there was a line and that you were in it is a question you should ask yourself later (maybe when you’re finally on that bus and on your way to meeting your Chinese love).

You don’t even have to feel bad about cutting in front of a dozen other people who look like they’ve been there longer than you; they may look it, but it’s very likely that they also just cut in front of others who were “pushovers.” The Chinese are unapologetic about this particular behavior. Everybody else is doing it, so unless they don’t intend to ever get closer to their goal – which is the ticket booth – then they really have no choice but to push their way ahead. The same reasoning applies to you.

So don’t make the mistake of standing still. As soon as the person in front of you takes a step forward, or sideward (because he saw an opening or somebody else cut in front of him), occupy that space right away! If you’re too slow, another one will take that space that is supposed to take you closer to the front of the mob. You literally have to be always on your toes!

Speaking of toes, you may have to step on more than a few for you to successfully claim any open space as your own. Don’t worry; everybody else in the jumble of bodies with you knows what they got themselves into. They’re all used to having their toes stepped on as much as they’re used to stepping on other people’s toes and not really giving a second thought about it.

Again, stick those elbows out and stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground and as far apart from each other as your space will allow. This should keep others from successfully invading your space and taking it away from you, or squeezing in front of you. Always be on the defensive, and always be ready to move.

If you have backpack , you can also use this to push away or block people who will try to squeeze their way past you. Of course, don’t keep anything valuable in it because tight crowds are a pickpocket’s ideal environment. You can also wear your bag around your chest, instead of on your back, to keep it safer; worn this way, you can use it to push your way to the front.

Lastly, don’t lose your temper and simply bear the inconvenience and the seeming rudeness of everyone around you. You will have to be aggressive, yes, but you must also practice tolerance. Balancing these two, very different attitudes can be tricky, but becoming angry will get you nowhere closer to your goal. The only way to successfully forge ahead is with lots of patience and agility.

Okay, okay, the above is a bit of an exaggeration, but just the same fighting through a queue in China can be a nightmare, and there are times and places where will never get to the front of the line without following some of the advice just laid out here.

Discover tons of great information about living in China, Chinese dating and relationships, and Chinese women on www.naivechinesewomen.blogspot.ca

Learning the Art of Modesty Will Get you to be Closer with Chinese Women.

 Maybe it’s not just a cultural thing; maybe it’s also in their blood. The art of Chinese modesty can be very difficult to learn, much less master, even after many, many years of living amongst the self-effacing Chinese people. But learn just enough, and it will get you far in Chinese dating and increase your chances of marrying a Chinese woman tenfold!

Certainly, arrogance is rarely an effective approach to dating, regardless of one’s cultural background. Too much modesty, just the same, can also be perceived as dishonesty or just plain pathetic; and a Chinese lady will be equally turned off by both. So don’t lay it on too thick; it’s always safer to dole it out in moderate amounts, repeatedly if the situation calls for it, rather than make yourself appear totally worthless!

A very effective and easy trick is to lower people’s expectations from the get-go. If you have been in China long enough, then you would have already had your share of experiences with random Chinese approaching you to practice their English. More often than not, they will start off with a claim that their English is poor, and then they surprise you with their knowledge of some English slang and euphemisms! Well, two can play that game!

When you find a situation wherein you may have to demonstrate your Mandarin, Cantonese, or Pinyin skills, play the modest card first and claim that your Chinese is very poor. You can even start off haltingly, using only the most basic phrases. Of course, this is given that your Chinese is actually decent; if this is not the case, then there won’t be any harm done. You are just being honest! You can make the same claim about your cooking skills, especially if you’re cooking for your special Chinese lady!

may have also experienced having a compliment you gave dismissed repeatedly, when you are used to people in the west responding with a simple “Thank you.” This is just another form of self-effacement. So you have to be careful how you respond to a Chinese woman you’re dating saying that your Chinese and/or cooking skills are actually impressive. If you say “Thank you,” she may take this as arrogance. This time, you can play the bashful contradiction card by saying “Not at all,” or “I’m sure I could still use some more practice!”

When giving gifts, bragging is generally considered crass in most cultures. So play the humble card; say that it is only a small gift but you hope she (your Chinese dating prospect) will like it. When receiving gifts, on the other hand, you should refuse it two to three times first while saying that it is too generous, you don’t deserve it, she is/they are too kind, and/or you cannot accept it. After your second or third refusal, you can then humbly accept it, say thank you, and repeat your appreciation for their generosity.

Genuine and false modesty are both acceptable, and even considered polite, in Chinese culture. But, again, remember not to overdo it to avoid being viewed as insincere. You will also have to get used to responding to the people around when they demonstrate Chinese modesty. Most of the time, it’s a simple act of one person claiming or insisting on one thing, and the other claiming or insisting another. Once you get the hang of it, you can even have some fun with it – given of course that the person you’re interacting with is somebody you already have close relations with!

Young Chinese Women’s Dreams

  In China’s current economic atmosphere, young Chinese women do not just dream of finding a husband who can be a good provider. Nowadays, they dream of finding a well-paying and stable job in the city after graduation, becoming financially independent, and being able to support their parents and, perhaps, be able to buy a house. These young Chinese women (as well as men) start off very optimistic, with clear-cut plans for the future, and with strong determination to achieve their goals despite the knowledge that the going will be tough. They are ready to work hard to build a better life for themselves and their families. An article on the All-China Women’s Federation website tells the stories of some of these optimistic and hard-working young Chinese individuals who strive to make it in some of China’s cities. They have been nicknamed “McDulls,” after a cartoon character created in Hong Kong by Alice Mak and Brian Tse. McDull is a male pig with a heart of gold, a mind filled with dreams for a good future, and the will to fulfill these dreams. Take for example Liu Huan who, together with her boyfriend, has saved up enough to make a down payment for a small flat in Nanchang, Jiangxi Province’s capital city. Liu Huan is an English teacher and her boyfriend is a civil servant in the city. After four years of hard work, and despite the high cost living in Nanchang, they are now closer to their dream of owning their own house before getting married. Liu Huan believes that their hard work will pay off and they will get the life they want. “When we first got here, we had nothing but each other. But we are young and not afraid of hardship. We will give our future child a better living environment."
 Liang Meng is another hopeful with a modest family background and has “decided to put down roots” in the city of Nanchang. Every month, she receives a small attendance bonus for never being tardy for work. Every weekend, she works odd jobs to earn extra cash. She saves as much as she can, and even though she can’t go shopping or traveling, she’s still very happy with how her life has been progressing. She says, "You wouldn't understand the pride and happiness I feel when I hand some of my savings to my mom. Even though my life is not easy, I will be tough and keep going. I am confident about my future." These McDulls show a different and very admirable facet of the current generation of working Chinese. They have modest beginnings, with qualifications that are relatively unexceptional in a society that always pushes for nothing less than excellence; but they have their tireless perseverance and optimism to make up for their lack in certain other qualities, and the right priorities to keep them motivated. These Chinese women present a very stark contrast to those who were given better academic and career opportunities, but many of whom are just as hardworking and ambitious. These Chinese daughters also definitely prove that there are far more modern women of China who are unselfish and un-materialistic. Their less than ideal situations do not stop them from going after their goals, in the face of traditional expectations that are always hanging over their heads, of the highly competitive job and marriage markets, and the high cost of city living. This new generation of women may be nicknamed McDulls because they live unexceptional lives; but perhaps a more apt nickname would be “McDreamers” and “Go-get-them-girls.”.

6 ways to Attract Chinese women much Quicker

  Chinese girls are one of the most beautiful and prettiest in the world, so the draw attentions of many foreigners. It’s no wonder that many foreign men want to learn how to attract Chinese women. Then what is the best way to attract Chinese women? Let’s look at a few quick tips that make her take notice of you.

1. Try to Be funny
 In order to let Chinese women think that you are funny, you should show some good sense of humor and do not be too serious or prudish, but make sure not to be too goofy or too dorky. Too much cockiness would send an impression to the girl that you are being arrogant or insecure. Being funny is to let the girl feel happy with you.

2. Try to know a little about everything ahead
You should know how to play those popular games such as poker, mahjong, and know something about novels, comedy, TV plays, films. The reason they are fun and attractive is becauseit is  difficult to predict the ending. If you can guess the ending after watching a movie for 5 minutes, it must be the most boring one. Do not let the girl feel boring, and know a little about everything.

 3. Be adventurous
Just as a song goes “I want to accompany you to venture……” All girls dream of accompanying his men to do risk. Adventurous life is the most exciting and most romantic. All girls will scream at it. When get shocked in adventure, the girls will need a shoulder; it is time to see your performance.

 4. Give her compliments
Just like with most girls, Chinese females love  boys to compliment them about their looks and some other things. So if you want to know how to attract Chinese women, learn to compliment them from time to time, although you must avoid overdoing it and make sure that it comes out of your heart. Some boys just pretend to compliment the girl, I will tell you it is an aboslute mistake. Because you will be in real trouble when she finds out that you are lying.

 5. Be appropriately indifferent
It seems contrary to show concern and indifferent at the same time, but in fact they are two sides of a coin. Usually women like to get attentions from men, but some appropriate indifference will produce a fatal attraction for her, she will find many ways to show the charms to get your attention.

 6. Use your body
Your gestures, facial expressions and voice tone are all great tools. Say less and do more, for language undermines the atmosphere, what girls mostly wish is you know how to do before being told. Do not ask “Can I kiss you?” this problem is very silly. Watch her body language and see if she is ready.